Baring my Soul and The Pages of Shustah

I want to share a draw I did with the Pages of Shustah yesterday. It had a profound effect on me, and I have felt humbled by what I am going through at the moment.

Just as a background, my days are filled with fielding calls from the creditors wanting to know when they’re going to get some money; and scrambling to find a way to meet our mortgage and car payments. Trying to hold on, until our monies come, has been one of the hardest struggles I’ve ever faced- this, coming from a woman who found herself homeless with 3 little children years ago when her 1st husband went awol! I trusted that I would be OK, and the Universe worked it’s magic and I was.

I have once again been put in a position where I need to trust that All will be Well. The cards have certainly shown that! I haven’t seen homelessness and ruin! if I did, I’d write about that too. I write this, because I am still in awe at how quickly one’s circumstances can change, and how important it is to keep focused on the positive. The one thing that you have control over is your attitude and reaction to Life’s events.

I constantly remind myself that I am more than this physical body, and that all that is out here in front of me is an illusion, albeit a very convincing one! I can’t take this “stuff” with me when I go, so why do I struggle so???

This experience has made me really look deeply into myself (something I thought I had already done!) and find the new layers of resistance that I need to release. I was an only child, raised by 2 loving parents that I adored. Both died sooner than I would have wished, and I hold the key memories to their existence.

It has made me hold on to alot of things that I attribute memories/stories to, and I’ve been hit over the head with a 2X4 that these are just “things”… not the memories themselves!

SO, yesterday, I called the local piano dealer to see if they would be interested in buying my Yamaha Baby Grand Piano. My parents bought it new for me, when I was 10 years old. I studied classical piano from the time I was 6 up through my teens. Everytime I look at it, I feel my parents…. this was one of the hardest things to do because of the sentimental attachment. But I finally asked myself, what am I going to do? play it out in the street when I’m kicked out of my home???

They are purchasing it, and we’ll be able to pay some of our commitments. Tough, that’s all I can say, and humbling.

So to the cards! I drew:

Green 2 Guardian DogYellow 3 ButterfliesRed 8 Serpent

I’ll start with the 2nd card and the 3rd card.

The Yellow Butterflies card can represent a temporary condition, something that doesn’t last long. I’s the card of transience; something that’s fleeting.

Then we have the Red Serpent. The Serpent can be a card of warning. Is there trouble around? be careful! Danger possibly nearby…

So these two cards are showing trouble/danger, but it’s of a temporary nature. This isn’t going to be around for a long time,(thank goodness!).

Then we come back to the first card, the Green Dog. I saved him for last, because he actually explains it all.  He is the Guardian Dog, the card of Protection. He brings emotional stability, and love into the picture. In this case, when I looked at him, he looked like he was smiling at me. He seemed to say, “Yes you’re in hot water, but I’m here to protect you, you’re going to be ok, this is temporary..”

If he hadn’t been there, I’d be squirming! lol But he looks satisfied that he’s got it under control, no one’s going to get past him to hurt me!! There is Love, Wisdom and Security with the Green Dog; and am I ever grateful for his presence.

Tomorrow I say goodbye to my 39 year old friend, Yamaha; but I also get to call the bank and say “Here!”  🙂

Tough, and life changing…

Spirity

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